blog

  • waxing away
    may you be that wick that dips and dunks and dives into the depths of all your lives here and now there and then coating itself in wax with experiences and layers of once molten and then hardening layer upon layer experience  upon experience knowing always and at any time you may be a-lit fromContinue reading “waxing away”
  • much nothing
    how much may we make of the nothing at stake how deep may we bask in this time that won’t last how heavy might we get in the weight of the net how tightly must we grasp to the lungs’ last gasp  yet how lightly can we play with the dawning of one day howContinue reading “much nothing”
  • put down
    let go what you thought was us what you thought was you put down the frown that you felt fit shed the scowl that you might miss drop that story of what you were told was you by them for us let go what you carried thinking it would serve because it once had nowContinue reading “put down”
  • wrong of way
    keep your head down keep your hopes low put your mind in the gutter and row row row keep your light dim keep your face hid sink your chest in bury that grin keep your brow cross keep your bow flossed put your time in the race never lose pace keep your jaw on aContinue reading “wrong of way”
  • make less
    do not suppress nor shrivel in regress but do make less make less of more peel away all the lore until left with the core pluck every petal expose each prickly nettle until you are left with only what settles the essence the innocence the incense of life
  • no promises
    i was not promised not even this to leap and bound and live in bliss i was not charged not even tolled to toil and grunt and die as old i was not anything not even now to be more something than i know how
  • tried on
    i tried so hard to sink into this soul downward and backward as if it were a bowl i breathed and blew bellowed like a flue and summoned all i knew i sulked and sunk i hulked and dunked contemplated like a monk i tried so wide to fill up this space to care andContinue reading “tried on”
  • grasping ghosts
    and even as we gather to try and wind the floss we find the spool unravels by the shroud that we have lost and until we gain a tension on the most gossamer of threads we grasp and grip unwittingly at the vapors from the dead for now, let’s free the stranglehold of clinging toContinue reading “grasping ghosts”
  • nothing this
    in the nothingness that is all this may we fall into bliss in the everything that is all that may we climb out of the vat in the in-between that is all else may we know it as ourself
  • still sitting
    in your sitting still, child did the world come to you did it float down like a feather into the open palms of your hands and while you still sat did the pearl come to you did it spurt forth from the ocean released from the shell and the foam and still while you wereContinue reading “still sitting”
  • spinning silk
    i am that thread spun from sugar wrapped around your wrist i will not melt from your pulsing but i will dissolve as i wish i will glisten when you listen and i will blend into your skin i will sour by the hour when the darkness comes back in
  • dark trek
    i watched your shadow walk away because you closed the door it looked so small for the space it held and sank into the floor then it morphed and clung on each lit stalk of grass taking on a life of its own and swallowing up our past i watched it until the sun wentContinue reading “dark trek”
  • turned around
    you looked back once, again, and lastly you shot me daggers not like blades but like flames that made my paper heart flutter not like butterflies but like ash incinerating my fragile flickering, tissued, love lantern had you turned around you would have seen the pile on the ground the grey the dust the fragmentsContinue reading “turned around”
  • rolling back
    like a pinball off a paddle darling you were out that door and gone gone like you knew knew where you were going yes life has its bright lights and bells and whistles but it has its bumper cars too and like a pinball off the paddles you bounced and you raced and you rolledContinue reading “rolling back”
  • well dug
    don’t show me the endless, shallow ditches you dug the miles you crossed in ceaseless searching don’t show me the countless, abandoned cracks in the crust show me instead the hole you honed that turned into the pit that you dared crawl into and then you crept some more show me the well that youContinue reading “well dug”
  • forgotten humor
    if i forgot myself today forgot that i must be doing forgot the weight of waiting might i return from nowhere to everywhere all at once unweighted undone unwound and just for fun does being so serious add value on some scale i cannot see do i dare to measure or calculate a treasure byContinue reading “forgotten humor”
  • under stones
    looking under rocks does not get me closer to what the sun has graced looking into wells does not get me closer to recognizing my face looking over life does not get me closer to the future i embrace looking to the stars blinds me full with space
  • rabbit transit
    It’s always been perplexing as to why folks would choose to have both children AND pets. It seems redundant in the responsibilities, risks, regrets and rewards. Pets seem the obvious choice and sure, I see where they have a lot in common with domesticated human youth. Children, like animals, can be raised to respect, obey,Continue reading “rabbit transit”
  • make room
    now is the time of the mushroom that looms in the loam and blooms like a poem and unfolds like a foam a lark in the dark now lit by a spark unbeknownst til i awoke to the joy of its joke the surprise to my eyes in still gray the sun’s rise now isContinue reading “make room”
  • a stretch
    i may not teach you but am hoping to reach you where you are where you were in your all how deep will you go inward through caverns and echoes then to full and fulfilled one with the one that is you without the name without the frame without this game that calls us againContinue reading “a stretch”
  • most all
    i like to think i’m living amidst the almost and that that is everything almost everything because if it were the all of all and not almost what else would there be?
  • no what
    you study hard and drink the ink swallow each word in hopes you’’ll sink into the depths of all the knowing you’d close the gap of this and that between the chasm in hopes you’ll fathom to know what?
  • last captor
    and when you realize the last captor is you you don’t but you will and you don’t but you will and when you realize the last captor is you you can expend more time looking and trying to go back and explain to explore, repair and blame or you can immediately at once and forever forgive yourselfContinue reading “last captor”
  • look out
    why is the shadow louder than the light is it because we can stare down the well but not at the sun we can look into the canyon as if it were the sky we can see the clouds and we will see there is light
  • feral remains
    may you remain slightly feral not so much so that humanity becomes your enemy nor society your alien but just so much so that mother nature is your kin feral enough that the rain causes you to raise your face to the sky not down to stay dry that the dirt calls your feet toContinue reading “feral remains”
  • queued up
    may your quest be of questioning with no need for answers may your quench be squelched not with liquid but more so with calling may your quill be quickened with the pace of your heart’s voice may your qualms be quieted with no news of knowing may your quilt be the quotient of all patchesContinue reading “queued up”
  • natural cycles
    the sun rose the bird chirped the musician strummed the dancer spun the drummer drummed the poet wrote the singer sang the painter stroked the owl howled the sun set naturally
  • bard dom
    be the bard of your own borders the lines of which you cannot see that are yet to be written in the sand by your hand in the mist by your wrist in the air by your stare be the bard of your yard that has no fence without an entrance without need of defenseContinue reading “bard dom”
  • life’s carnival
    i wanted each one of those fake rabbit feet dyed in colors unnatural and each of those magical mood rings that could speak for what i could not say and the crystal domed snow cone of ice drenched in a rainbow the baby blue cotton candy and the pink one, too the feathers dangling fromContinue reading “life’s carnival”
  • gate weigh
    how heavily must you stress to press against the iron to move those rusted hinges because you think you want what is beyond the gate? is there really a weight or a wait? is there resistance? are your heels dug in and your head dropped down? look up look in the gateway to your soulContinue reading “gate weigh”
  • running with quills
    go ahead pluck that plume grab that falling feather from mid air dip the tip into the mud write your story in earth
  • write again
    when i write i am real when i think i don’t feel when i speak i’m not heard when i scribe i’m a bird if i leap i will fly if i look i will die if there is reason in all that matters may i be forever mad as a hatter
  • doubt less
    and in what world would it make sense for one to be born into hesitation? do you see the river reluctant to flow? in fear of breaching its banks? do you find a frog in mid leap? in distrust that it might land? if you were to become, again, anew this day with no knowingContinue reading “doubt less”
  • sick nest
    flee they said fly free this nest is best left empty
  • in gradients
    there is no recipe to get it right no exact mix nor measure which will guarantee our life to be one that equates to pleasure there are only guesses and guides messes and backslides to move us onward to make us collide into our wholeness that return into our solid selves which makes us feel moreContinue reading “in gradients”
  • chalk dust
    color me in chalk dunk me in dust coat me in ash let my life chisel the crust
  • known knot
    beguiling this you ambiguity beguiling and beckoning and beaconing because you are truly life as we do not know it truly life alive ambiguous in your defiance of the stasis which is death always a reminder to pause but not to stop nor stand still in fear await for an answer to questions unasked unaskableContinue reading “known knot”
  • go on
    mid sentence she put down the books picked up a stone swallowed its story as it were her own exited the fog that was a door entered the mist that was nature’s floor stepped outward to step inward journeying on no path which was the path the only path that would ever be truly herContinue reading “go on”
  • stick out
    there was a stick and it got stuck and then it thought “i’m in the mud and i feel stuck but i am a stick so stillness and stuckedness must be my way and  so although this mud it feels a mess and it is starting to set and hardened and tighten around me iContinue reading “stick out”
  • off fire
    would i look more alive if thrown into that fire? the one with the flames hypnotic chaotic overly exotic but oh so distorted contorted overly reported as to their import did you forget that calm is the way? stare instead at the ash it shows what it is
  • show enough
    ancestors one a vein had nothing to show for it everything to lose everything to hide because it was all hidden within ancestors one a veil had everything to show nothing to hide nothing to lose because there was nothing there
  • one condition
    you may never understand but you can always love and if you can’t yet understand but think you must first understand you may never love but if you can first love you may eventually understand
  • nuts! did you miss the podcast?
    recently, i had the joy and delight of being interviewed by one of the most magical beings i have ever met; Sheila Masterson. Sheila hosted me on her amazing podcast, Living Tarot! we yarned about the creative process, listening to intuition in all aspects of life and how “messy” is not the same as beingContinue reading “nuts! did you miss the podcast?”
  • simple complex
    when the simplest of things delivers the greatest of joys is when you realize this is as complex as it ever need be again and always
  • illume innate
    may the twilight sky’s hues be as whisper sheer as the pansy’s petal when held to the sun may its purples be like popsicle stains on your tongue on your shirt on the sidewalk may its tangerines be like the juices of rains on your window panes may its ceruleans be like the memories ofContinue reading “illume innate”
  • pain fully clear
    i see your pain not like a flame no rage afire instead it wafts like steam off the heat of the street like vapors only visible on an odd angle suppressed molten a-boil about to release an incarnate yearning dying to be set free that which it has not faced anger now awoken and aggravatedContinue reading “pain fully clear”
  • LIVE squirrel!
    THE BOOK IS AVAILABLE NOW wondering where your wonderment went? SQUIRREL invites you to return to your inner awe. you may be asking “but, how do I know if SQUIRREL is the book for me?” if you answer “YES” to any of the following, seek SQUIRREL:  do you have a short attention span? do youContinue reading “LIVE squirrel!”
  • earth angel
    may your halo be made of sweet, plump honey bees may your shroud be a cloud of their golden nectar’s dust your dander from dandelions your perfume from peonies your lip tint from plums your blush from all blooms and berries earth angel
  • tree line
    when the roots could go no farther down they widened and went out until they were left exposed like teeth dangling from rotten gums unearthed year after year after year the trees had crept backward they had shriveled they had hunkered down contracted from the earth’s contract that had been broken year after year afterContinue reading “tree line”
  • what’s the difference?
    maybe you were wondering just what goes on behind the scenes when you want to bring a dream (i.e. tiny book) to life. MAGIC MAGIC and HELP help from highly gifted people. here is just one example of the talented hearts that i have been blessed to work with on this book journey in bringingContinue reading “what’s the difference?”
  • dense city
    if you are going to dig through that mire through the mud if you are you going to dive deep into the dirt ask is it because you aspire for something to transpire? are you looking for the air or for the flat in the tire? you will find whatever is on your mind soContinue reading “dense city”
  • avoid dance
    so what if they’re not playing your song are you going to wait idly by avoiding the floor for the music out there to match the drum beat in your heart or will you turn up the soundtrack in your head and dance to your song no matter what other’s think they hear
  • still staying
    sometimes staying still is actually stepping forward leaving may seem like going but leaving can be retreating so have you fled not faced retraced? or have you led not hid amid when you stay or when you go?
  • serpent tears
    that snake will shed its skin and not one tear it does not fret and regret nor become upset it knows better it moves on with less friction and that bird with its molting does not turn to moping and that tree does not weep as the sap seeps as the leaves fall at itsContinue reading “serpent tears”
  • the point
    what is the point? or where? can you point to it? if you get there, will you know it? let me know because what really is the point? do two lines finally converge? if you walk far enough, focus hard enough or is there no point? in that nothing actually comes together convergence is emergenceContinue reading “the point”
  • hold her
    she held your space held your body held your hand held your hair held your heart she held her tongue
  • who knew?
    i didn’t know. somehow i was supposed to tell you 3 years ago, that i was going to write a book last year and that this year i am publishing it. who knew? forgive me in this moment for not having the foresight with hindsight required. lesson learned!…? ok, with the future-past behind us (orContinue reading “who knew?”
  • the remains
    what remains to be said is often already seen what remains to be seen has often been said are you hearing what you are seeing? are seeing what you are hearing? what will remain of it?
  • deeper waters
    know when the waters have become too shallow and the seas are too vast  that it is no longer your time to buoy anchoring has kept you afloat without being adrift yes but when there are farther horizons and deeper oceans and they call they call to your now adventurous and brave spirit you must know theContinue reading “deeper waters”
  • matter of taste
    the nougat in the mushroom the mallow in the marrow the syrup in the blood the citrus in the synapse the nectar in the tear the pepper in the peat the spice in the cedar the liquor of the loam the wine in the weed are we one and of the same
  • knew again
    and i promise when ever i see you again even though it will be new and what i think i knew of me and of you will need to be left aside to allow the new for what i knew of what was me and what i thought i knew of what was you willContinue reading “knew again”
  • wood night triplets
    three awoke amidst the woods the first, named WAS the second, IF the third, NOW lost and un-compassed they knew they must move on as the temperatures were dropping and the darkness grew darker WAS ran screaming backwards trying to retrace every step that it could not see to reach what it could not clearlyContinue reading “wood night triplets”
  • confessing
    today found me jealous of the moss of the mulch of the corpse of the cicada
  • mineral
    i am water i am earth and thus mineral so i am mud i am metal rusting into the puddle who knows it is the ocean the ocean who knows it is a puddle and they do not need to profess or pontificate upon their universal unity in source, there is no need there isContinue reading “mineral”
  • forget it
    forgetting is the new remembering it’s trending but don’t worry trends don’t last and neither do your brain cells so why all the struggle to shove more info into your already overstuffed head hole? i don’t have the answer, but i can tell you if you want to remember, you have to forget what? yes,Continue reading “forget it”
  • exhausted?
    and when you have finally been able to  completely and without a doubt exhaust seeking, seeing and finding every ounce of beauty and goodness available to be found in the vastness of this existence then and only then may you go forth or should we say backward and dare to seek the ugly as ifContinue reading “exhausted?”
  • weighting
    what is the weight of waiting? if there is a lightness of being, present in this current pausing, then by all means, remain in the midst. let this time and space pass through you with ease. yet and when, the waiting gets weightier, we might begin to wonder, what is being lodged within? our attentionContinue reading “weighting”
  • lava-sagna
    It was the early 1970’s.  Before the oil crisis. Gas tanks and wallets were pretty full.  Life moved fast and it seemed there would never be a limit in place. Safety was optional or at least negotiable – like seatbelts, curfews, humanity. People had trouble and fun with trying to keep up. Plastics were exciting,Continue reading “lava-sagna”
  • don’t wish
    a better tomorrow always seems possible, but have i abandoned today for it? we are always on the eve of something greater, yes. but have we celebrated every last second out of this moment, right now? and if not, i catch myself wondering, why? setting hopes afloat feels like fun yet, am i perhaps wantingContinue reading “don’t wish”
  • moon beams
    moonbeams  they look like light bright when you are afar when you are upclose soft like milk in a jar
  • power play
    all weakness is perception all strength is realization
  • vague
    sometimes vague is all we have. and we must be willing to be ok with that or, it simply shows us that we might be clinging to an outcome that is out of our control. our thoughts are all we can control. we get to decide where our thoughts will go and then, decide again.Continue reading “vague”
  • no knock
    we do not open a portal to peace. it is always open. we closed and keeping closing the door. no one will be knocking. you could have answered the silence. and entered the silence. at will. at any time. and then. you could have disassembled the imaginary hinges. once and for always. there will be no knock.Continue reading “no knock”
  • neutral
    the power of neutral – can you at least get to neutral? can you summon yourself to crawl from the gravity? to stop the density that pulls you down? to not spiral? can you call yourself back from the tornado of chaos? can you land on terra firma? can you at least get neutral? neutralContinue reading “neutral”
  • tilt
    enough? is this the day  when the pendulum’s swing  is witnessed as far  and as wide  in the direction  as we will ever again agree  to ride with it?
  • stumblin’ in
    welp, here we are. i promised a blog and so it begins. first, i want to thank you for being on the receiving end of this entry. it has really helped to apply exponential amounts of pressure which, i know, i asked for. sure, i have put a lot of pressure on myself over theContinue reading “stumblin’ in”
  • this is that
    this is that initial entry, that post, that first, fresh attempt at not trying. this is what i thought would be impossibly easy and seriously ridiculous. this is when i burned my journal and realized the transmutation had occurred. the words finally set free from the physical confines of that constricting composition book. here isContinue reading “this is that”

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