musings

now then

have no doubt we will combust rendered immediately to dust having bypassed the rust for which we would now lust if we could just have back the time to remake our mind to choose more refined to buy us more time to not combust

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last moment

and there are moments and they are vast they are timeless and fragile glass and there were moments and they went fast filled with chaos and dense with mass and there is no moment that will last

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some more

something will make me of this day somehow the words will come from what i cannot say somewhere will take me from the fray sometimes the birds will hum for when i cannot pray something will make me of this day

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meaning less

may each word i write be a release a ballast cast overboard a frequency bailed an uplift felt even when the words are heavy or the thoughts are low writing them out let’s them go and in each stain there is less meaning to carry forth meaning less

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my words

may my words make a ladder the letters a rung by rung may they lift me from my drifting and from feeling oh so numb may my words make a ladder and hoist me from lost sense may my words make a ladder and guide me over the fence may my words make a clatter…

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wish wasp

and the wasps with wings like whisks all whirled and swirled away the worries from amidst this buzzing brain in fray they swarmed and swept so no fret be kept within its dense membrane they made a paste with all the waste of which it had maintained they built anew and then they flew summoning…

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marigold heart

may your heart blossom bright like a marigold overnight burst open in bronze delight brilliant and vibrant carrot orange to the sight piquant lemon ginger perking the nose nothing like a rose marmalade sticky sweet countless petals unfurling replete reaching for the sun and being it as one your marigold heart

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brick boat

sometimes i stack the bricks on my chest and how the world laughs and sees me with jest sometimes i stack the bricks in a row and how they do guide me and pull me in tow sometimes i smash the bricks at my feet and how they resemble my thoughts incomplete sometimes i share…

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peachy keen

when the weight of these things feels too heavy for your wings put down the load and turn into a toad when the length of this road feels too long for your feet step off the path and turn into a giraffe when the height of these trees feels too high for you to reach…

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out clear

we are the blue bubbles and the white light that effervesce in the night we emanate and inflate we illuminate and irradiate anything that speaks of hate we are the blue bubbles and the white light

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honey heart

may your honey heart melt into a molten river and the hive turn from haven into heaven and run free may your honey heart spill out and be so sticky as to ooze with sweetness and reach the beneathness that once only knew sour and now can only grow flowers that will surely and purely…

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left under

and then you left then they left too and to my soul it felt like theft and then i wept and they wept too and in this hole i feel bereft and now what’s left what’s left to rue and in my soul i feel the cleft

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echoes now

all the things are just echoes now the space you left a hollow howl the hide and seek will never find what is was you left behind

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the lesson

perhaps the passing of those we love places a period at the end of the sentence of the lesson the lesson they have been whispering and shouting to us for our entire blessed lives while they are here we are trying to be independent and grow free from their voice to develop our own we twist…

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home deaf

the house had no music but there was a song it had known there was a timbre amidst its timber that beheld its own tone there was a tune that once went mute and burrowed deep inside like a scarab masked in amber it was silenced and denied the house had no music

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time again

i have wandered on and off the path again time and time again in and out of life’s constructs only to press my face up against the bars, the panes again time and time again looking through to  the out there or the in here and wondering again time and time again i have wandered…

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home lone

i am a nomad in my own home from room to room i roam and roam i find no place in this place and beg for blessings and for space i give grace and i trace the corners of the floors the outlines of the doors and still i am unstill and i pace and…

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fade fast

fade fast i will warn you you will wilt if you stay on that vine make last nothing that adorns you it enrobes you in gnarls and twines put past all that conforms you to the promise of unused time fade fast i will warn you

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pieced apart

i will pick you up in pieces when you can’t recognize yourself we won’t try to reassemble and replace you to the shelf there is no reason to resemble that former version of your self i will put you down in fragments you will gather up the eaches that once were who you knew you…

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self made

i have made myself predictable i have entombed and encased my face and race save you the chaos i have made myself adjustable i have bound and buffered my space and grace save you the chaos

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face facts

how much energy has it taken to force my face forward how much easier would it have been to simply have faced the facts how much spackle has it required to fortify my place outward how much easier would it have been to simply have embraced the cracks

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high tide

my tides they have risen way past the water line above the banks beyond the basin’s brink and are ready to breach my thoughts they have boiled way past the kettle’s brim and are ready to leach my lungs they have swelled way over the ocean’s edges beyond the tanks above the beach and are…

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something there

in between the unicorn and the uniform i am born in between the cuneiform and the matterhorn i am formed in between the capricorn and the maelstrom i will be transformed

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write again

write again wrong you are when you think you are done it’s always too soon to put down the pen to hang up the hat to give up the dream to silence the voice yes you may rest as pause is not without a future cause to manifest your next best in the stopping and…

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spell bound

i will glue this world together by the minding of my words i will structure strong my sentences with love in nouns and verbs i will amalgamate these messes by the turning of a phrase i will restore fairer weather by the minding of my ways i will bind this spine by tether in the…

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these words

we have given ourselves these words so that we may play so that we may find some folly in what we say so that we may expand beyond the mere dimensions of this day so that we may be more clever in how we do display so that we may express outside the vessels in…

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back rest

i just want to rest back into your love into the softness of the belly that says i surrender to the warmth of this life life that is always waiting to embrace and enfold to grace and behold every trace of doubt that i believed i could not live without and then once again in…

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no claim

you have no stake in the wake of the furrow left in my brow you will not rake through the lake of sorrows left in my bowels you get no claim to the pain of the burrow left in the yowl you won’t mistake when you awake the hollow left in the now

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love true

i will keep you with one foot in this world no matter how hard you try to leave i will anchor you from your swirl no matter how much you bob and weave i will tether you to my heart with thread and wear you on my sleeve

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fear not

your toughness is just deafness it’s not music to my ears your gruffness is just preference it’s how you hide behind your fears

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rusty relations

we are women we are water we are not wounded when we weep we are witness to the wreckage that your weapons they have wreaked we are warning of the waking that this wildness soon will wield we are men we are metal we are not madness with our might we’ve been muted we make…

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near life

how much closer to this earth can you become today how much further have we wandered to keep the end away how much nearer is our life than we can ever say that the breathing in and breathing out is willing to purvey so in keeping with the sleeping that we tend to do through…

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know time

and maybe we did not know at some time there would be a time in which there was no time like this present like that past like some future we did not know that we would not need time to measure to gauge our pleasure to account to amass amounts to assign a span limited…

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dust bowl

what need have i to try to try and muster and then become a-fluster an entangled cluster when knowing full well the dust would just settle if i could de-nettle and freely sit still and dwell for a simple spell outside this hell that i formed from nothing and pretended it was something

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id tag

swallow these words like nothing you’ve heard chew up the verbs and make yourself round by the sounds of the nouns what would you be if you could only see with no words to drink what would your thoughts think how could you enshroud your being out loud without a language with which to engage…

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time collapse

i will not collapse in some fashion like toy soldiers in a row i might line up like ducks and quack as i flow i will step out of line with your so called time i will collapse into myself like books on a shelf in abundance and overflow

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time gait

this is the time i sat idly not wildly but mildly by by the wayside not in the riptide but like a blimp ride against my pride this is the time i felt wasted not laced in but faced inside inside the collapse of the time lapse that never filled in the gaps of my…

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your being

doing the work is not the same as being the work and in the working it out there is really a working it in and this working is not the same as laboring so much as it is the savoring of reabsorbing and conforming to your natural normaling so yes do the work if it…

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out write

i can write in a vacuum i can write in a back room i don’t need a mushroom to make my words bloom i don’t need a big voice to make known my choice

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galactic swimming

those planets lost their power when i realized at this hour i could utterly devour the tides they tried to turn just by jumping in

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word less

there will always be more paper and ink than what you’ve left unwritten there will always be more noise in the air than what you’ve left unspoken there will always be more density in the mind than lightness in your soul only and always if you remain wordless

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heart safe

i will not lock my heart in a box as if it were a safe i will not issue keys and codes for you to enter my space i will not wall with brick and mortar to cover up my face i will wear my heart upon my skin as if it were my race

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that which

i want that i am that that which i am i can only see what is already me so that which i think i am longing to be is already a part but feels fallen apart somewhere in my heart and i go searching again then i stub my toe from my grasping and woe…

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polaroid preacher

the camera wed our souls that day beneath the crabapple tree the camera it bore witness through the blossoms’ canopy the camera clicked and captured what no one else could see that our spirits eternally were destined to be free it snapped and shuttered and joined us connected at the roots but not in tether…

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hoofing it

may the horse in your heart hear its own hooves and know that it is running from nothing may the wolf in your windpipe hear its own howl and know that it is clawing at nothing may the crow in your crown hear its own caw and know that its crying for nothing

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dog soul

there is a tiny puppy that lives inside my soul it yelps at me to feed it and clanks upon its bowl it leaps at open doors and doors that i have closed it woofs and wants to be set free it nudges with its nose it whines when it is unseen it tugs and…

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feather brain

i got caught for a moment in the thought of a wallow i knew it was there when my stomach felt hollow it begged me to weep and suffer the arrows but when i heard what it needed they were just baby sparrows who all had been trapped in the weight of my gut fluttering…

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waxing away

may you be that wick that dips and dunks and dives into the depths of all your lives here and now there and then coating itself in wax with experiences and layers of once molten and then hardening layer upon layer experience  upon experience knowing always and at any time you may be a-lit from…

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much nothing

how much may we make of the nothing at stake how deep may we bask in this time that won’t last how heavy might we get in the weight of the net how tightly must we grasp to the lungs’ last gasp  yet how lightly can we play with the dawning of one day how…

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put down

let go what you thought was us what you thought was you put down the frown that you felt fit shed the scowl that you might miss drop that story of what you were told was you by them for us let go what you carried thinking it would serve because it once had now…

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wrong of way

keep your head down keep your hopes low put your mind in the gutter and row row row keep your light dim keep your face hid sink your chest in bury that grin keep your brow cross keep your bow flossed put your time in the race never lose pace keep your jaw on a…

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make less

do not suppress nor shrivel in regress but do make less make less of more peel away all the lore until left with the core pluck every petal expose each prickly nettle until you are left with only what settles the essence the innocence the incense of life

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no promises

i was not promised not even this to leap and bound and live in bliss i was not charged not even tolled to toil and grunt and die as old i was not anything not even now to be more something than i know how

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tried on

i tried so hard to sink into this soul downward and backward as if it were a bowl i breathed and blew bellowed like a flue and summoned all i knew i sulked and sunk i hulked and dunked contemplated like a monk i tried so wide to fill up this space to care and…

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grasping ghosts

and even as we gather to try and wind the floss we find the spool unravels by the shroud that we have lost and until we gain a tension on the most gossamer of threads we grasp and grip unwittingly at the vapors from the dead for now, let’s free the stranglehold of clinging to…

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nothing this

in the nothingness that is all this may we fall into bliss in the everything that is all that may we climb out of the vat in the in-between that is all else may we know it as ourself

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still sitting

in your sitting still, child did the world come to you did it float down like a feather into the open palms of your hands and while you still sat did the pearl come to you did it spurt forth from the ocean released from the shell and the foam and still while you were…

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spinning silk

i am that thread spun from sugar wrapped around your wrist i will not melt from your pulsing but i will dissolve as i wish i will glisten when you listen and i will blend into your skin i will sour by the hour when the darkness comes back in

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dark trek

i watched your shadow walk away because you closed the door it looked so small for the space it held and sank into the floor then it morphed and clung on each lit stalk of grass taking on a life of its own and swallowing up our past i watched it until the sun went…

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turned around

you looked back once, again, and lastly you shot me daggers not like blades but like flames that made my paper heart flutter not like butterflies but like ash incinerating my fragile flickering, tissued, love lantern had you turned around you would have seen the pile on the ground the grey the dust the fragments…

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rolling back

like a pinball off a paddle darling you were out that door and gone gone like you knew knew where you were going yes life has its bright lights and bells and whistles but it has its bumper cars too and like a pinball off the paddles you bounced and you raced and you rolled…

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well dug

don’t show me the endless, shallow ditches you dug the miles you crossed in ceaseless searching don’t show me the countless, abandoned cracks in the crust show me instead the hole you honed that turned into the pit that you dared crawl into and then you crept some more show me the well that you…

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forgotten humor

if i forgot myself today forgot that i must be doing forgot the weight of waiting might i return from nowhere to everywhere all at once unweighted undone unwound and just for fun does being so serious add value on some scale i cannot see do i dare to measure or calculate a treasure by…

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under stones

looking under rocks does not get me closer to what the sun has graced looking into wells does not get me closer to recognizing my face looking over life does not get me closer to the future i embrace looking to the stars blinds me full with space

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rabbit transit

It’s always been perplexing as to why folks would choose to have both children AND pets. It seems redundant in the responsibilities, risks, regrets and rewards. Pets seem the obvious choice and sure, I see where they have a lot in common with domesticated human youth. Children, like animals, can be raised to respect, obey,…

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make room

now is the time of the mushroom that looms in the loam and blooms like a poem and unfolds like a foam a lark in the dark now lit by a spark unbeknownst til i awoke to the joy of its joke the surprise to my eyes in still gray the sun’s rise now is…

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a stretch

i may not teach you but am hoping to reach you where you are where you were in your all how deep will you go inward through caverns and echoes then to full and fulfilled one with the one that is you without the name without the frame without this game that calls us again…

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most all

i like to think i’m living amidst the almost and that that is everything almost everything because if it were the all of all and not almost what else would there be?

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no what

you study hard and drink the ink swallow each word in hopes you’’ll sink into the depths of all the knowing you’d close the gap of this and that between the chasm in hopes you’ll fathom to know what?

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last captor

and when you realize the last captor is you you don’t but you will and you don’t but you will and when you realize the last captor is you you can expend more time looking and trying to go back and explain to explore, repair and blame or you can immediately at once and forever forgive yourself…

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look out

why is the shadow louder than the light is it because we can stare down the well but not at the sun we can look into the canyon as if it were the sky we can see the clouds and we will see there is light

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feral remains

may you remain slightly feral not so much so that humanity becomes your enemy nor society your alien but just so much so that mother nature is your kin feral enough that the rain causes you to raise your face to the sky not down to stay dry that the dirt calls your feet to…

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queued up

may your quest be of questioning with no need for answers may your quench be squelched not with liquid but more so with calling may your quill be quickened with the pace of your heart’s voice may your qualms be quieted with no news of knowing may your quilt be the quotient of all patches…

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natural cycles

the sun rose the bird chirped the musician strummed the dancer spun the drummer drummed the poet wrote the singer sang the painter stroked the owl howled the sun set naturally

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bard dom

be the bard of your own borders the lines of which you cannot see that are yet to be written in the sand by your hand in the mist by your wrist in the air by your stare be the bard of your yard that has no fence without an entrance without need of defense…

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life’s carnival

i wanted each one of those fake rabbit feet dyed in colors unnatural and each of those magical mood rings that could speak for what i could not say and the crystal domed snow cone of ice drenched in a rainbow the baby blue cotton candy and the pink one, too the feathers dangling from…

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gate weigh

how heavily must you stress to press against the iron to move those rusted hinges because you think you want what is beyond the gate? is there really a weight or a wait? is there resistance? are your heels dug in and your head dropped down? look up look in the gateway to your soul…

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write again

when i write i am real when i think i don’t feel when i speak i’m not heard when i scribe i’m a bird if i leap i will fly if i look i will die if there is reason in all that matters may i be forever mad as a hatter

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doubt less

and in what world would it make sense for one to be born into hesitation? do you see the river reluctant to flow? in fear of breaching its banks? do you find a frog in mid leap? in distrust that it might land? if you were to become, again, anew this day with no knowing…

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in gradients

there is no recipe to get it right no exact mix nor measure which will guarantee our life to be one that equates to pleasure there are only guesses and guides messes and backslides to move us onward to make us collide into our wholeness that return into our solid selves which makes us feel more…

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known knot

beguiling this you ambiguity beguiling and beckoning and beaconing because you are truly life as we do not know it truly life alive ambiguous in your defiance of the stasis which is death always a reminder to pause but not to stop nor stand still in fear await for an answer to questions unasked unaskable…

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go on

mid sentence she put down the books picked up a stone swallowed its story as it were her own exited the fog that was a door entered the mist that was nature’s floor stepped outward to step inward journeying on no path which was the path the only path that would ever be truly her…

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stick out

there was a stick and it got stuck and then it thought “i’m in the mud and i feel stuck but i am a stick so stillness and stuckedness must be my way and  so although this mud it feels a mess and it is starting to set and hardened and tighten around me i…

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off fire

would i look more alive if thrown into that fire? the one with the flames hypnotic chaotic overly exotic but oh so distorted contorted overly reported as to their import did you forget that calm is the way? stare instead at the ash it shows what it is

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show enough

ancestors one a vein had nothing to show for it everything to lose everything to hide because it was all hidden within ancestors one a veil had everything to show nothing to hide nothing to lose because there was nothing there

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one condition

you may never understand but you can always love and if you can’t yet understand but think you must first understand you may never love but if you can first love you may eventually understand

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nuts! did you miss the podcast?

recently, i had the joy and delight of being interviewed by one of the most magical beings i have ever met; Sheila Masterson. Sheila hosted me on her amazing podcast, Living Tarot! we yarned about the creative process, listening to intuition in all aspects of life and how “messy” is not the same as being…

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simple complex

when the simplest of things delivers the greatest of joys is when you realize this is as complex as it ever need be again and always

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illume innate

may the twilight sky’s hues be as whisper sheer as the pansy’s petal when held to the sun may its purples be like popsicle stains on your tongue on your shirt on the sidewalk may its tangerines be like the juices of rains on your window panes may its ceruleans be like the memories of…

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pain fully clear

i see your pain not like a flame no rage afire instead it wafts like steam off the heat of the street like vapors only visible on an odd angle suppressed molten a-boil about to release an incarnate yearning dying to be set free that which it has not faced anger now awoken and aggravated…

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LIVE squirrel!

THE BOOK IS AVAILABLE NOW wondering where your wonderment went? SQUIRREL invites you to return to your inner awe. you may be asking “but, how do I know if SQUIRREL is the book for me?” if you answer “YES” to any of the following, seek SQUIRREL:  do you have a short attention span? do you…

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earth angel

may your halo be made of sweet, plump honey bees may your shroud be a cloud of their golden nectar’s dust your dander from dandelions your perfume from peonies your lip tint from plums your blush from all blooms and berries earth angel

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tree line

when the roots could go no farther down they widened and went out until they were left exposed like teeth dangling from rotten gums unearthed year after year after year the trees had crept backward they had shriveled they had hunkered down contracted from the earth’s contract that had been broken year after year after…

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what’s the difference?

maybe you were wondering just what goes on behind the scenes when you want to bring a dream (i.e. tiny book) to life. MAGIC MAGIC and HELP help from highly gifted people. here is just one example of the talented hearts that i have been blessed to work with on this book journey in bringing…

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dense city

if you are going to dig through that mire through the mud if you are you going to dive deep into the dirt ask is it because you aspire for something to transpire? are you looking for the air or for the flat in the tire? you will find whatever is on your mind so…

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avoid dance

so what if they’re not playing your song are you going to wait idly by avoiding the floor for the music out there to match the drum beat in your heart or will you turn up the soundtrack in your head and dance to your song no matter what other’s think they hear

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still staying

sometimes staying still is actually stepping forward leaving may seem like going but leaving can be retreating so have you fled not faced retraced? or have you led not hid amid when you stay or when you go?

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